Those dramatic twists and turns you watch on TV may not always be far from reality when it comes to divorce cases. It can sometimes be even more complicated than that.
“A standard divorce process requires an attorney’s aid and money and takes a chunk of your time. That is why courts encourage couples to try collaborative divorce. This is because the process is smoother when the couples are in agreement on how they want to get a resolution,” says Family Law Attorney Matthew Dolan of Dolan Divorce Lawyers, PLLC.
In some cases, getting a mediator to facilitate the divorce discussion is encouraged, as the mediator can be a key player in resolving conflict.
Unlike traditional divorce proceedings that often involve courtroom battles and adversarial tactics, collaborative divorce promotes problem-solving and constructive negotiation. The focus is on achieving a fair outcome for both parties while minimizing emotional stress, financial strain, and disruption to family life.
This article explains how collaborative divorce works, helping you determine if it is a suitable approach for you:
The Collaborative Divorce Process
Collaborative divorce is an alternative to litigation that seeks to resolve family law matters in a respectful and cooperative manner, and emphasizes the resolution of conflict without the need for a courtroom appearance.
This approach combines mediation and negotiation to help couples reach a mutually agreed-upon agreement that typically covers issues on property division, debt allocation, child custody and support, and spousal support.
How it Works
At the start of a collaborative divorce, both parties must agree to negotiate and cooperate throughout the collaborative process. If a party is unwilling, then the process cannot proceed.
Next, each spouse moves to secure the services of an attorney. In this step it is crucial to select an experienced attorney who understands how collaborative divorce works.
Additionally, it is important to ensure that you choose an attorney who is willing to employ alternative dispute resolution methods, such as mediation. Attorneys who push court litigation should be avoided in your selection if you are seeking collaborative divorce. Ultimately, choosing the right attorney is essential to navigating problematic situations and developing a settlement plan that benefits both parties.
Collaborative Divorce Process
After selecting the right attorney, the next step is to schedule a meeting and inform the attorney of your preferences. This should cover issues such as child custody, spousal support, visitation, division of assets, and matters relating to debts. During this meeting it is also important to gather information from your attorney about the suitability of dividing pension plans.
Beyond having just an attorney, you also need to build a collaborative divorce team. This team will comprise a group of professionals who will work with both you and your spouse to ensure you reach a mutually peaceful agreement. These professionals include a divorce coach, a financial professional, and a child specialist.
In a collaborative divorce, your team of professionals cannot be biased towards a spouse. They work to consider the ideal interests of both parties involved. However, you should note that you do not need to have all three specialists. The characteristics of your case will help determine the type of specialists you should have on your team.
The specialists and your attorney will work together to achieve a favorable resolution of the conflict. Then, when an agreement is reached, your attorney will prepare an agreement document for both parties to sign.
As a caveat, it is important to not sign the document if you have not reached a full agreement on all the divorce terms covered. Once agreed on and signed, a judge will authorize the signed agreement as long as it is deemed fair for both parties. This agreement then serves as the final judgment of your divorce case.
Is Collaborative Divorce the Right Choice?
Collaborative divorce is a strong option for couples who are committed to resolving their divorce respectfully and cooperatively. It is particularly well-suited for individuals who are willing to engage in honest communication and compromise, and are looking to save time and money.
However, it is not appropriate for every situation. If there is a history of domestic abuse or a lapse in communication, collaborative divorce may not be effective for you, rather you may need to opt for the traditional contested divorce.
It is also essential to understand the potential risk: if the process fails, both parties must start over with new attorneys in court, which can lead to increased expenses and further delays.
As a result, before pursuing collaborative divorce, it is critical to examine your circumstances and determine whether it will be beneficial for both parties. If you observe some loopholes or unwillingness from the other party, it is advisable not to proceed with this method.
Concluding Thoughts
While divorce is conventionally emotion-driven and tough, collaborative divorce offers a more dignified approach to ending your union with an estranged partner. It allows couples to navigate divorce with greater cooperation and control.
Different states provide alternatives to couples who seek divorce. Some encourage both parties to opt for alternatives such as legal separation. However, if these alternative methods do not work due to conflicts and high tension, the traditional way may become necessary.
By working with trained professionals in a supportive environment, couples can develop solutions tailored to their unique needs and lay the groundwork for a healthier future.