Leaving an abusive partner isn’t as simple as walking out the door. Abusers often sense their control slipping when a survivor tries to walk out on them. As a result, they lash out and can even be violent. That’s why preparing carefully to leave is crucial.

Before taking the brave steps to leave an abusive partner, it’s important to take the necessary precautions to protect yourself as you move forward. Here are some safety tips to help you reach freedom safely.

Keep Important Documents Together

In a domestic violence emergency, there’s often no time to search for important paperwork to bring with you as you leave, so gather them well in advance. Keep birth certificates, IDs, financial records, and legal documents like a living trust or will in one place. Put them in one envelope that you can easily grab if you need to leave. If you leave without these documents, it may be more difficult to find housing and get financial assistance. 

Have a Bag Ready with Emergency Cash and Essentials

If you have to leave suddenly, you won’t have time to pack. While “go bags” are popular for natural disasters, they also work when you’re leaving an abusive relationship. Prepare a bag with money, keys, medications, and any other essentials. Cash is especially important if your partner monitors your bank accounts and cards.

By doing this in advance, you’ll be ready to leave quickly without worrying about survival needs. Hide the bag in a spot your partner won’t think to check. You can even leave it at a trusted friend’s home. Don’t forget to add items for kids or pets if you have them.

Establish a Safe Word with Trusted People

Create a safe word or phrase with trusted friends and family. Align with them so they know that if you text or say the safe word, it means that you need help. Choose a word that doesn’t seem suspicious but doesn’t commonly come up in your daily conversations. That way, your abusive partner won’t suspect anything when you’re calling for backup. Make sure everyone knows what actions to take if they hear the safe word, like coming to pick you up or calling 911.

Change Passwords Your Partner Knows

Abusive partners often use technology to track you down and spy on your activities. If they know your social media passwords, they may read private messages about your escape plans and track you down. Before you leave, change all your passwords that your partner knows. That includes your email, social media accounts, and codes on banking apps. Protecting your digital presence makes it harder for your partner to interfere with your plans.

Consult a Domestic Violence Attorney

Talking with a lawyer gives you clarity on your rights and legal options following a domestic violence incident. It’s important to consult someone who understands local laws, so find a reputable lawyer in your area. For example, if you’re in South Texas, reach out to a San Antonio domestic violence attorney who knows state laws surrounding your situation.

With legal representation on your side, you’re more protected against retaliation. They can also give you guidance on other legal options, like collaborative divorce, if you want to separate from an abusive spouse more peacefully while keeping your safety first.

Endnote

Leaving an abusive partner shouldn’t be a snap decision, or else it might only put you in harm’s way. It has to be planned out properly so you have the best chance at a safe escape. The tips above can help you put your safety and well-being first and leave with confidence. Keep them in mind if you’re ready to walk away from your abuser. Following them can help you build the first chapter of a safer, freer life waiting for you.